Archibald Brothers Part 7

WHAT IS A SPLIT SECOND

DISCLAIMER

SPONSOR

ARCHIBALD BROTHERS EPISODE 7

KELLY

Welcome to the final chapter of the Archibald story.

MA I didn’t ever see what she did when I heard the door close it wasn’t like she is still there is she not going to say that I’m over here and turn this way 

KELLY

Our last episode ended with a gun pointed at young Richard’s face. 

MA I just remember you coming around

RA she was there but it all happened I mean it was split second and

MA did we have on shoes

RA I do not now 

MA I remember

RA it wasn’t unusual for us to be barefoot remember I mean we went barefoot so I don’t know I don’t know probably not

KELLY

Mike and Richard fled for their lives before their stepmother could pull the trigger.

Little did they know what they would come home to.

Welcome back to Qavah.

MA But we made it to Joeys wasn’t like his dad was there so it was, good I mean it wasn’t I don’t know what would’ve happened if Mr. McCowan would’ve been there what is y’all can’t stay here we got to take you back to your place you know

KA Did you tell your friend what had just happened

MA We did

KA OK

MA But you know way I had confided in Joey many times I don’t know what you talk to Tim about but I know for sure that Mr. McCowan and Joey they knew the kind of raft that was going on but they’re just you know this is there is a kid and we’re not really a kid at this point I mean I’m going to be a freshman in high school but I do remember that Helen had gotten other than the car episodes her ability to really function had diminished tremendously 

A LOSING BATTLE

KELLY

Following serious problems in her marriage with Kenneth Archibald, the boys’ father, Helen realized she was losing this battle. 

After she lost her cool and nearly shot her stepson, she called out to the boys as they ran away, begging them to come back.

But they ignored her, taking shelter at the McCowan home, where their friend Joey lived.

We made it at Joey’s house that seem to be a long walk but kind of a invigorating

RA Oh yeah it was

MA We were like the leash is off

RA We were just giving it to her we didn’t fault her a minute that boys come home it wasn’t even like a

KA Well you know that your dad was was leaving her so he’s on your team

RA Yes we’ve heard that before right so we we hope to it but was this do you remember thank God it’s Friday Friday  Saturday Because Saturday was the day were supposed to go

RA I remember him basically saying OK I’m going on this trip I need you guys to find somewhere to be because when I come back I’m loading up and leaving and then I will gather you guys later

KA So was Ken at this dinner

RA I believe so I think so 

MA YEAH 

RA Because Ken had come to help us at McCowan’s  I don’t know how he reached him but was like we had cell phones or anything

KA So hold on those days that you were back there was that so frightening

RA I honestly don’t remember that

KA OK

RA It’s as if there’s times that I just are not there anymore for me I don’t know what happened

KA OK

RA I don’t know if it was I couldn’t tell you

A PLAN OF ACTION

KELLY

While Kenneth Archibald may not have expected Helen to pull a gun on his son, he certainly expected all hell to break loose when he told her he was leaving her. So he came up with a plan for his boys to be gone when he confronted her.  

RA And you had a McCowan trip

MA so I was going to go with Joey for so I was gonna go with Joey for really a solid week and weekend so I was gonna leave like on a really a Monday me and Joey and his dad and his little brother Jeffrey we all went down in the car to Shreveport to visit his grandfather and grandmother 

MA Think  he arranged that

RA I don’t know but probably

MA There was no asking Helen

RA NO

MA I mean you were just you were going there during this time frame

KELLY

When the boys returned from the McCowans’ house after the gun incident, they were thrilled to hear what their dad had planned for them. 

MA I remember both of us going back though so whenever went out to Joey’s house both of up back at 3005 Margo

And that’s when we were just saying that song you would started and I would kind of finish it the movie thank God it’s Friday was out and you had that Thank God it’s Friday And I’d stop and you go Saturday and we were moving Saturday so we had our own little internal chant our own little internal countdown our days were numbered

RA  that’s right

THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY….SATURDAY

KELLY

Mike went to Shreveport, Louisiana with the McCowans, and Richard went to Lake Tawakoni in Texas with the McDonalds.

MA and we saw like a minor league baseball and we got to go in the house boat we got to go for a couple days for a couple of days to do some fishing just all kinds of neat things we found his cigarettes and we smoked for the first time out on some little tree around the corner and you

RA It may have been your first time together but I don’t think it was your first time to smoke I’m just saying

MA Oh no Man I had a tattoo on my arm and I was smoking a pack a day when I was 10

KA So where were you

RA Well I was with Helen for a few days I think I think after dad may have gone but it was already determined and to my knowledge dictated by my dad that I was going with Tim Abe Sandra Lisa

RA And so I went we went and visited Abe and Sandra’s they may have had a little trailer or something on Tawakoni

KA OHOK

RA So that’s where we were and I remember spending it seem like all night at one of those little like a little shack that goes over the lake where people sit in there and fish all night

MA OK Like a little

RA I have never been in one before never have again that I know of so we did that and I don’t know what else we did but we did some stuff and we were coming home

KELLY

Their dad did everything he could to protect them from Helen during this time. But they couldn’t stay away forever; eventually they had to go home. They were looking forward to seeing their dad and hopefully being rescued from Helen once and for all.

Yeah I think by the time the Helen incident happened he was not gonna be coming around. 

MA No no whenever he advised her he punched his ticket and he wasn’t coming back I don’t think dad at that point he just said the gloves were on now guys y’all just go do what you can do dad was a hard worker I would’ve been more inclined to say I can’t make this trip but he had to finish this trip out and I think another one at that so I know I went to bed that Saturday night I remember it in Shreveport me and Joey had a bed we’re both sleeping on and at this awesome just book case of condensed readers digest sit there of the all these great stories I kind a new but they were condensed not that you could get through it in one day but I remember I had mine open and he had his open woke up the next morning to a great breakfast getting on I 20 and heading back to Dallas go West young man

KA So this is Sunday

MA This is Sunday morning August 13

KA And you’re still at Tim’s

RA Yeah I meant yeah we came home that morning

MA From Tawakoni

RA And it was charter Oaks apartments because I remember Lisa’s room 

MA I remember 

RA Her there and her girlfriends will come over and they get ready to do stuff anyway it was just it was fun over there and I think Ken calls 

DON’T GO HOME

KELLY

Ken, their older brother, had reached Helen’s house on Margo Street just slightly before his two brothers. 

RA no yes Ken called Tim’s house and said don’t don’t go home have you know he talk to Sandra I’m not sure but go to Kip’s house that was the direction I was given and I don’t know if he told Sandra more, he didn’t tell me anything and

MA Sandra was Tim’s mother

KELLY

But in the days before cell phones, Ken could only reach Richard via landline. There was no way of getting a hold of Mike or the family who was taking care of him.

MA I remember coming home down that long road in that backseat just for the first time having the sense that somethings not right and to this day I know that God has given us and is a very own nature in his own image a spirit forgot his spirit and we have a spirit and I felt something was just not right at that moment as we made that long journey home I just couldn’t get it out of my mind I got my bag as soon as I got there and I just started making it a fast walk caring what I had packed to come back and when I crossed over Motley and I made it past straight hula

RA Oh so you had gone home at the McCowan and you were getting your stuff to walk home

MA We had no idea that anything was a problem

KELLY

Mike was excited about the plan again as he walked himself home, all alone.

RA Was it still daylight

MA It was right at dusk

RA Sunday night Evening 

MA I can remember when I finally got to Margo and made that I seem to remember seeing dad‘s truck and thinking you know I’m thinking dad‘s home at the same time I’m thinking are we really going to move

SOMETHING IS WRONG I CAN FEEL IT

KELLY

And the sense in his spirit was right. Something was very wrong.

But I don’t know if I’m having this real remorse or  because it Sunday like I don’t know what’s going on I don’t know if this whole thing if I am there maybe I can push dad into whatever he’s promised was and we Move On but when I turned that corner and I saw that truck and I said all right I am coming back but dad is here and so are they been fighting a lot Helen was a little more passive with dad was there and maybe there’s some moves going on don’t knows I could come and y’all that my stuff half of all have been invited but I’m gonna have to bother you anyway so I didn’t remember just walking on that porch and there were men you’d have to have an arc welder who takes 10 dimes and weld them together so it looks like a ruler that’s just all diamonds that are just like glued together but they’re not glued together they’re actually welded together so you have these 10 dimes that are side-by-side making at me you know I have 45 inch strand of dimes so I see that I see some of their and see what’s obviously stains and I knew those stains had been there or maybe this whole feeling that I’ve been having is the same this is just too weird I remember the screen door being able to turn it and open it and then trying to do the door handle to come on in and it was locked so I closed it and so then I just went to around the garage that was facing that was attached to the house they turned it to your room and going through that game and then following it back around to the back of the other garage and that’s when Mr. Kirkland was Mr. Kirkland who is our next-door neighbor great man 

but he was plowing in that little back yard he had with this little crop and he saw me I saw him oh I tried the back doors first and there was no getting in what was weird I remember that the drapes on the sliding glass door I could see in to that very informal living room you  and I had fled from But I couldn’t see around I couldn’t see anything else and just enough daylight coming through the front window so you could see inside and that’s when I walked back around and Mister  Kirkland just told me he asked me Michael what are you doing here I said man I just got in I’ve been on a trip with my best friend and he said well you need to go back where you came from 

so now I just go back the way I came and I just you know you just I just knew I can’t say I knew for sure it was but as I’m walking back to Joey this is a mile walk took out my stuff I’m taking it back and I know sooner then walked and I came back at the back alley at Joeys and went through his sliding glass door and it was like Joey was there and open it up and I walked in and had made it back to his bedroom for whatever reason and I was coming out of his back bedroom and his dad caught me in the hall I remember he put both hands on my shoulders and he said Mike Helen shot your dad 

and there were that’s when I could hold no more and I remember crying immediately and mustered the word is he dead and he said I don’t know I don’t know so I’m like well it wasn’t a yes but he said we’ve got to go to the police station they’ve asked that the family has asked for me to bring you to the Mesquite police station and I didn’t connect any dots like OK well it’s not like dad had a fell asleep behind the wheel of a semi and maybe rolled something or you know he’s been shot I knew that and you know it wasn’t real hard just to think back to Helen And what we had seen you know well this has happened

KELLY

The fathers of their friends, who had stood in as makeshift fathers for the Archibalds time and time again, were now caring for the boys on the day that their own dad was shot.

THE VICTIM WAS SHOT

A neighbor named Mr. Muhl was the one who delivered the news to Ken, the oldest Archibald.

KA So where were you?

KHA I was spending the night with Kip Muhl

KA And how did you find out what happened?

KHA His dad woke me up and told me

KA Oh wow in the morning? Ok wow.

And what did you think?

KHA Well when he told me was that he was very honest uh he woke me up and of course he said uh uh Ken, you’re you’re going to need to come with me I need to take you home there’s been an accident and your dad‘s been shot so he didn’t say there’s been an accident and there’s something wrong with your dad he said your dad‘s been shot that’s all he said he didn’t say oh then and he’s dead so I mean you know again kept lived within a four minute walk and I’m not sure for sure if we even got in Mr Muhl’s car I think we just might’ve walked.

And he was he was very protective of me that day that morning so he he was like a dad

MA So you got to the house 

KHA Yeah

MA and you saw cops police officers and all that 

KHA yeah yeah and an ambulance 

MA And so dad was still there

KHA yeah

MA Oh my God 

KHA Of course when they brought him out covered that means he was dead

KA Oh wow

KHA There was no there was nothing graphic about it

RA But you saw it

KHA yeah

MA You saw a white sheet

KHA I don’t even know if it was a white sheet 

MA Or whatever it was

KHA Yeah he was covered yeah

KA What did you think?!

KHA Oh I knew he was dead

KA I mean were you like oh my or were  like

KHA That’s a good question

MA Were you asking how?

KHA No 

MA Intuitively know based on what it happened

KELLY

Ken, Mike and Richard finally saw the terrible answer to all this confusion, right before their eyes.

RA  Tim’s mother yeah Abe and Sandra were dad and mom and so she took me to kips Kip’s house and I remember being there and this the way the sun was shining and all seem like it was still morning to me could’ve been noon but it wasn’t the yellowish color of the day yet and people coming up to me and like that I didn’t know saying they were sorry and but no one had told me OK what thanks what for and then finally I guess it was Ken

MA he arrived or he was already there this entire time

RA It seem like he was already there but I don’t I don’t know for sure it’s all kind of fuzzy but someone and I would think it was Ken said well yeah dad was shot 

MA Just no holds no punches held back man finally Ken probably had to work up the nerve and tell you

RA Yeah and I don’t remember

MA Did y’all go anywhere did y’all just stay there I was there any

RA It seems like we just stayed there it seems like Sandra stayed with me a bit

MA I know I know all this I know we have discussed all this for the life of me today I can’t remember me and you ever talking about where you were and how you found out

RA No I don’t either

KELLY

The journey of processing their father’s death began that day, and still continues today as the brothers piece fragments of their memories together.

RA I remember saying well shouldn’t we be at a hospital or something and he said well he’s dead and then it was just the realization of it and the odd feeling that I felt of freedom I feel guilty to this day for it but I knew at that point I will never have to deal with that woman again and I don’t even think at the time I knew she shot him  but for some reason I knew I wasn’t going back to her so that’s how I found out

MA What did you do I mean did you you got this feeling of by the way I have the same thing when I was told, so you shouldn’t feel remorse about it that was the environment that we were in if dad would’ve been more powerful to where he was indeed going to be digging us out of this very abusive situation that we were in we might’ve we might’ve said well dad could’ve made it just a little bit longer or if we could’ve just made this move but it had been back-and-forth so many times this was just going to be another stop along the way and I never considered that this is the only way this is going to end whether it be one of us I can remember thinking maybe it would be Ken as if she was gonna take that weapon that we had saw her pull and dad was going to just come back at some point in time she was going to use it on either you or Ken 

MA and I walked in and front sergeant was like can I help you and he Mr. awww man he had his arm around me and Mr. McCowan was a big man I mean he was a real tall but he was he was why he was an offense of line coach and he and we walked in can I help you yeah he’s here to see about his daddy there’s been an accident that’s the way he’s been an accident Aw is this is this is Kenneth Archibald and he said yeah yeah and he just I remember he just said the family was just here and they went to look for a funeral home so hey I am I’m 15 right about to be OK dad‘s gone and I didn’t cry not there I remember Mr. McCallum walking out he put me back into his AMC pacer whatever he drove we are now going back to his house there are no cell phones don’t know where y’all are guy just said a funeral home and I remember on the way back he said you know if you want to cry you can and I just said I’m not gonna cry and we got back to McCowan’s house y’all were there

RA OK

MA I remember I saw Ken and I too so you should never feel guilty I said well at least were away from Helen and Ken said I was live in Helen’s house for another 50 years to have dad alive and I remember thinking well yeah I remember thinking yeah you weren’t living there like we were

RA yeah

MA Literally that came in my mind

RA Yeah and then from there again it’s all a blur but I guess it funeral happened pretty quick right

MA You remember when we were given the opportunity to go back in the house

RA no

MA Well let me rephrase we were given the opportunity to have someone bring us things from the house I don’t remember who went in but I do remember Tim’s mother when we got in her car and we were heading back to and I think it was her place we were going to stay with Tim McDonald they were good people charter Oaks she did ask us do you remember she said do you wanna know where your father was shot I don’t know I don’t know why she want to ask us that but I remember saying  yeah and she sit in the back of the head but  it just there you go I could see that happening and just aww that’s exactly what happened she was saying this again and dad was doing this little turn when he was going to walk out

RA Walk out the door 

MA Police report I remember when it was in the newspaper couple of 2,3 days later cause this is big news from the skate it had a “the officer said Helen Archibald whenever we arrived I guess oh yeah she called the police said I shot my husband 

KA WOW

MA Cops arrive just had this feeling they were trying to push the door open when there was a body but they got in and Helen is soon as she walked in she goes I shot Kenneth the guns on the stairs so right there when you walk in that front door you had the stairs where it’d make a curve and she had put that I guarantee that weapon right there at the top of the stairs would it make that turn to go all the way up

RA Yeah the landing

MA And I’m assuming they were blood stains were they had pulled him out or had like three room whatever would’ve been right there at the front door and then we were back at no family around

HOW TO ADULT

KELLY

With their mother still undergoing mental health treatment, the boys found themselves on their own once again. And Ken had to step into some very adult roles at the age of 17.

MA I don’t remember where I stayed that Sunday night

RA I don’t either I figured I went with Sandra and Abe again

KHA You you may have but I have no idea quite frankly where I stayed um But at some point I’m at uncle Calvin’s House on the phone calling our relatives. Aunt Virginia and Uncle Charlie are in Las Vegas, Nevada. And and uh I mean I had to call mom uh and Uncle Calvin was helping me every step of the way but he was deeply involved in this 

MA cause Mom came down. Mom would have been at a I won’t call it a half way house I won’t call it a mental institution but it was definitely a place it was a home it was some sort of a home

MA And I remember her getting there and that’s who I sat next to the entire time of the funeral

MA I remember taking a slight census as when people were coming to look at the casket casket was open

RA It was I remember that

MA Yeah

RA I do remember that because dad‘s nose was not his nose

MA really no it was messed up 

RA And they told us that the force of the shot his face hit the front the door so it smashed his face in and said they had to like work on his nose and it didn’t look like him I didn’t look like his nose

MA So I think that was my first funeral to ever to go to so I didn’t know this open casket thing or what a dead person looks like in but I remember finally Ken came back and started coaching us and worked us in to have some courage to go in there and honestly when I got in there it’s kind like Richard it was an ass I mean I maintain better than I thought I would but it was a definite I don’t is that what you look like when you die because I don’t really recognize who that is I mean even his hair seem like it was maybe it was because of the way they you know dad always had his part maybe they were just kind a come in it straight back it just didn’t look like dad at all I know he had on like this leisure suit

RA YEAH 

MA you know I’m like dad’s wearing a leisure suit and he definitely wouldn’t be wearing a tie or anything but a loser suit was even a stretch for him and

RA Yeah I mean I don’t even I don’t know if anyone told me but in my little 12-year-old head I was thinking that his hair was that way and I thought the back of his he didn’t look 3-D so much and I just thought well I mean the back of us has probably gone so that look different you know what I mean it wasn’t like his whole round head was on the pillow and I remember that and now that I’ve been to a lot of funerals it was different then so that was a little different too which maybe was those things the combination of those that they were thinking should we even have an open casket or but they did

KA So we’re other family members were they upset

MA uhhuh

KELLY

And even as Kenneth was on his way to the grave, Helen’s presence followed the Archibalds.

RA Who dealt with the flowers did LD do that I don’t remember the moment I remember probably hearing about it more than anything when Helen sent flowers and they got them out of there but that was kind of her I don’t know I just remember a minor commotion

MA Do you know did she get out on bail quickly I have no idea i’d love to know you know when she gets arrested I mean

RA I think I don’t know I thought and I thought as a result of how little time she had to serve after the appeal that she was incarcerated during that time. And because she got credit for a whole lot of time but it’s a good question I don’t know where she was or what she was doing

MA I just remember just laying on my mom’s shoulder we were at the end of a pew I could kind of see the divider and I could kind of see out there a little bit and I remember just bawling out I don’t I don’t know if I was still caught up and just the overall experience that was going on around me as much as it was just knowing dad was gone I think that was a couple weeks later before that started to hit

wHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE ALONE IN LIFE

KELLY

When the funeral ended, there was no one to receive the boys into a new family. Their mother still couldn’t care for them. Their father, their only hope of stability, was gone. They just had each other.

They floated around from relative to relative until Kenneth’s sister, their Aunt Virginia, took them in.

One thing was made certain: Their father’s brown pick-up truck was going to the Archibald boys.

RA Well there was something about our truck well my dad‘s truck pick up truck and Helen had it right and maybe Tommy her brother or something was driving it around uncle Archie just wasn’t having that he’s like that’s that is his pick up it belongs to you kids and so I think he tried to get the police to help they’re like well until this all gets kind of settled out we don’t know who owns what so so he just said fine he just figured out where it was went over there stole it brought it back I think he even called the police and said I took it I have it and it’s these kids and they said well like we said before we’re not gonna do anything about it you know and so nothing ever came of it but he he just took it

MA I can tell you this Helen was out

RA right

MA Helen was out she had gotten bail and she was out the house obviously no one is living there so they’re in like the days inn off of gross and 635 so Archie finds out where it is I don’t know how he does this and Ken goes with him and uncle Archie is packing at 38 and you know what I think the police told him where Helen was OK they they were like I can’t we can’t do a stolen truck thing here but she’s at the Spanish Trail and they’re off 635 or whatever

RA That’s where you find the truck

MA So Archie went there baby and he had every intent of hoping that she would come out and try to stop him because he had every intention of paying her back but I hotwired it I think eight now no I think at another key

RA I think that’s right yeah

MA Anyway they got dad‘s Ford F100 1974 model pick up back

A LOVING HOME

KELLY

Virginia. Their aunt’s name meant “pure,” and indeed the boys finally found themselves in a pure, calm, and caring home.

But old habits die hard, and the boys still wandered the streets from time to time. One day, as they were out walking, they found a church.

RA my memory of the church is seeing it over there and going there like walking

KA Yes you walked

In 79

KA You came and folded bulletins remember

RA Right yes I remember so we went to the church on our own

KELLY

Not long after, someone knocked on their door and changed their life.

MA normally Uncle Charlie had this joke if somebody would knock on the door he just yelled go away and this time somebody knocked on the door and he went go away but Aunt Virginia got the door and opened it up and it was somebody from West Rockwall Baptist Church that would just say were coming to the neighborhood with starting it we got a church out here in the marina we’d love for you to come in and Virginia was bound and determined when that door was closed she just walked back in the living room and she told us uncle Charlie including we’re going to go to church this Sunday

KA Oh wow so you went that Sunday

MA We went that next Sunday we would’ve visited I guess two or three times I made straight days are in the marina just the metal chairs to probably get out 10 chairs on each side six rows deep on each side a nice little meal I also had an invitation so people could come down and it was like the third service and the whole family went down

KA wow was Ken involved in this

RA I don’t think so

KA OK

MA I don’t think so

KA So it was the two of you and Rhonda and Craig

MA Rhonda  and Craig aunt Virginia and uncle Charlie

KA yeah

MA This was where you know Kelly wasn’t like today when you go join a church they kind a send you to the encouragement room so you can I mean this is where you came up and you stood in front of everybody and Stroope said I want to welcome the Chaffin family and this is Mike and Richard Archibald is so let’s just welcome them as members and

RA Was it even was it Stroope then 

MA YEAH

RA OK 

KA So that was 80

KA so what was significant about that

RA Friends a community you know there was I had some friends at school Greg Thorsen Craig Cuny and Kevin Stewart they were my closest friends at that time that’s who we did everything with or I did everything with but it wasn’t it was just at school you know what I mean they I think you had some friends that lived over on our side of the lake but for the most of the part my friends live because you know it’s long distance to call it was like we were in the school district somehow because of Rockwall County but you know you couldn’t go visit your friends across the lake so church was like it was another group of friends that was significant with the new youth group that developed pretty quickly so yeah that was significant

KA And they were always activities camp

RA Camps Steve would let me set up and tear down for Wednesday night meals

KA You still get to do that

RA It’s church yeah and he would I don’t know if he physically paid me or he gave me credits toward camp I don’t remember but that’s how I was able to work to go to camp so that was very good of him 

so I did that and went to camp

MA Man is that’s where we found the cross

RA  oh yeah

MA You know 

RA for real 

MA for real I can remember just God calling me down and coming to terms with what the cross represented and how that built a relationship with God through Jesus I mean I started to comprehend through that time that there is three persons united into one God and I can remember actually thinking and struggling with that I mean how is that supposed to work but it to me there was I wouldn’t I don’t know where it would’ve been if that little marina wouldn’t of been there and we wouldn’t walk there and then eventually we all became I mean I got baptized with aunt Virginia I mean I don’t remember uncle Charlie getting baptized do you Rich

RA Maybe maybe yeah I don’t have a clear memory but something tells me yes

MA I mean we were washed in the water and

KA Were you baptized in the lake

RA No First Baptist

KA OH 

RA Steve did it but we borrowed First Baptist

MA We were we were I think the time of the year made that like it was getting more difficult that old boat ramp but there was there was an obvious change in us and I know whenever when we were in high school together two years apart right we were Bible bearing kids going to school

RA And our youth group what was neat about it was is the youth group at church had literally all kinds do you know when you have this group from High school this group from high school football players basketball players the cheerleaders the band people the people who didn’t do anything but it wasn’t like when we were at church we were together and then we went to school and we weren’t we were always together you know we were always friends everywhere it was that was really significant in a real maybe the start for me anyway of building trusting relationships you know whenever you would have people that straight up might not be your friend at school because you’re not cool or whatever but that did not matter that was not so that was

KA Because you went to church with them

RA right

KA  wow that’s huge

RA Yeah that was huge and I remember it really like I just thought that was the neatest thing

MA I couldn’t imagine going to school without our youth group

RA I know 

MA you know what I mean

RA yes

MA It was truly if you got a problem or if you need it we were all just loving on one another as we were reaching people for Jesus there was something just absolutely anointed about that time I mean if I’m gonna date somebody it’s gonna be somebody in our youth group you know that’s how closer I don’t know who this other girl is but Kim Watson man I got a crush on her you know

RA And then people would people in our group would get a girlfriend or whatever but they would end up coming to the church you know and suddenly they were part of the youth group

KA That is so healthy

RA Yeah it really was

KA What a blessing for everybody

RA Yeah and I don’t even think we took it for granted bad you know I think we know we did we appreciated it so yeah it was good

AT THE CROSS

KELLY

The worst was over. The abuse, confusion, and fear had passed, and those things would stay at the cross forever.

The best was just beginning.

THE BEST WAS YET TO COME

Ken married Nancy Mays and thrived in his career in insurance.

They now have 2 children and 3 grandchildren.

KA So Ken looking back, what would you tell yourself you’re young self and you can choose an age haven’t gone through all that you’ve gone through what would you tell yourself you’re Buckner self or your teenage self 

KHA well it kinda goes back to my dream that I told you about. This is probably not very Christian it’s probably not very Godlike but I think what I would’ve told myself is man you take those kids and you get somewhere and you take complete charge of everything that you’re thinking and quit thinking it and just go do it and if that means you walk into a police department or if that means you walk in and you just say there’s some crap going on here that we don’t need to be dealing with and we want out of this and um What I would’ve told myself is that you just tell your dad that he’s out of his mind and and that’s not good because butt and you just needed to ask at 16 years old or OK you’re talking about so my Buckner self that may not that made it yeah that may been you take those two boys and and um and you go somewhere and you turn yourselves in and say we we are not I don’t know what the future’s gonna look like but it ain’t gonna look like that on my,  but I would tell myself to have been more assertive. 

KELLY

Being the oldest Archibald, and trying to navigate the chaos on behalf of his brothers, left Ken with some  scars.

KHA Uh and uh that goes back to the the dream that I have where Helen and dad knock on the door at Highview and they said we are here to get the boys and it’s the two of you but I am the Ken Archibald that I am right now and I just look at them and go are you both out of your mind if you think that I’m gonna let y’all ever see these two children ever again in your lifetime and they’re like and you know dad, “ah ah ah”. And I said “you have no idea what I can do do you do you know you have no idea what my I am”  I regret thinking “with my money can do to you I I’ll have y’all so far deep in in a hole that you can” and I said “you turn around and get”. And they had no alternative but to do what I said and I used to wake up from that dream and Nancy can tell you I was liberated and I am mad to this day. The Lord took that dream away from me is what he did because it wasn’t good to be having but it made me feel like that’s why that’s I don’t me that’s exactly what I tell myself is you should have taken charge and you should have just cut through all of their crap and found a way to protect these kids.

KELLY

Mike married Tracey Thomas - not Tracey Cast, his girlfriend from Buckner Orphanage. He works in information technology.

They have 2 children and 1 grandchild.

MA Two days after Christmas, 1984 , December 27, 1984 when me and Timbo and I would still run around a lot and he invited me to help him out the he invited me to help him out that he had a girlfriend who had a friend and the friend was willing it like that if you’re willing to do a blind date I don’t think we really I think Susan and Tim who are boyfriend and girlfriend Susan knew Tracey of course I knew Tim and we met at a nightclub and I think I fell and left pretty quick with Tracey although I didn’t show it and but I did kind of show it because I made a lot of promises on things that I really couldn’t deliver I mean this was this was back when I guess was it prince was kinda rockin and roll when it was kind of the when doves cry  

RA  purple rain days

MA Purple rain and so he was coming for like a January 2 concert

RA T reunion right

MA To reunion and I told Tracey man I got me some Prince tickets I wasn’t making a commitment to her but I would just wanted her to know that I had this kind of stuff and that I was the end guy I never had any I never had any tickets at all I don’t know how I ever finagled not it to be I guess if push comes to shop with all the connections that I had I could’ve found some

 you know it never really materialized she found out that I never had them but I guess we dated from that day for like a year and two weeks and then we were married and she she really opened the world to me as far as life does go on we do live normal lives we find the person that God had intended for us and we start spending our life with them and it wasn’t like it was always easy you know we’re just we’re still kids you know 21 and 19 or whatever so we’re still having Timbo come over and just completely just hang out all night long with his buddy drinking or whatever so we had a lot But it was because she was going to college and her mom was a great math teacher and now a counselor Plano East and she kept reinforcing the need for me to go to college I had reimbursement from lone star gas had tuition reimbursement uncle Jerry was also going to college and he was like Mike you need to think about a career in IT so I said why not and I guess we were married in January 86 by December 1990 I have been degree in information technology from Texas Arlington and you know we lived in our little apartment

KELLY

Richard wandered around some more. He worked for a restaurant and moved to several cities, finally landing in Long Beach, California, where he graduated from Cal State Long Beach with a degree in political science.

KA So then you went to law school

RA Yeah then I went to law school

Richard attended University of Pennsylvania School of Law and married yours truly. We have 3 children.

And once Richard completed his law degree, his life came full circle in a way he never would have guessed.

KA And became an attorney who swore you in

RA  Jerry Holden Meyer swore me into the Texas state bar who was our prosecutor that prosecuted Helen she had become a judge 

KA so looking back when you were a child would you have imagined that your life would’ve ended up the way it is

RA I would not have I’m not saying I would ever ever imagine what my life would end up like I don’t think I really went there much but I do I do even remember our first house which was your house right just thinking well I have a house I just sort of thought I live in an apartment I never really saw I saw career but I didn’t see life living home yeah I wanted to be a lawyer I had hoped to do it at it it wasn’t really a money thing for me it was really the inspiration of Jerry Holden Meyer that made me wanted to do that I just got sidetracked from that for a few years with BirroPerretti‘s because of the money

KA But you didn’t have any vision of what life could be like as an adult

RA No I probably started getting one when I was an adult right before law school 

KELLY

Mike was not ashamed to share the rocky healing journey he experienced.

KA so what about you Mike

MA You know I guess I had I had sort of just envisioned that I would I don’t know work for the post office or get a government job that really any type anything or anything you know maybe even drive a truck I just didn’t see necessarily my path well I know I know that there were bumps after all the dust had settled I mean I there were times where I just was bandaging my wounds with just I don’t know not really living for the future just trying to self medicate myself and it experimented with various types of ways to self medicate and there was counseling for me and it was Dr. Jack that simply kinda heard where I had been sent and I will say I have never felt that there was any desire to ever heard anybody in me it was never a desire to hate other people and I don’t know where that framework and that grounding came and I’m not saying that other people that may be had such a life that was all over the place would would not necessarily still grow up a loving human being but uh whenever I had met with Dr. Jack and he heard where Richard and I had been and he was like what you have and where you’re struggling with all week and we can this is this is it he didn’t say tame compared to where you really should be you’re married you have two children you have a college degree and you have a pretty good job now this could all fall apart if we don’t get this under control but that’s when I started to realize there were some thing in the first 28 29,30 years of my life that even probably as a youngster somehow took hold to where throughout all of this, we were going to be OK we had made it through to everything there is a season I’m not necessarily saying we were the Israelites think it we’re gonna cross the thing you know the Red Sea and everything was gonna be fine from that point going forward but it looks like that you know what you can put the past behind you God does know the plans that he has for you and they are for your good they are not for your demise and once God started to take all of our family and you start to read his word you start to play that back and it’s like a crossword puzzle you could never put together because you really couldn’t find the corner pieces but when you actually did the picture they gets painted and put together with something good and it took me a long time not to always just kinda dwell on the past and I always think I’m in trouble or that there’s something lurking around the corner or as a vent in our early marriage and I would tell Tracey well the only reason this has happened because my name is Mike I mean this is the only reason this could be happening you know just I didn’t have anything to do with it I’m just an innocent victim here after a while that got pushed away and pushed aside and I mean two beautiful girls going to be a grand dad both love the Lord and my two brothers love the Lord

KA So what would you say to your 15-year-old self

MA I would tell my 15-year-old self to hang onto that initial seed of faith that you have and I wish I wouldn’t have lost that time I’d also tell that 15-year-old self because of my faith there’s something far greater at work other than the human flesh that they could either harm you or how I could make mistakes and you can live life in peace and peace that surpasses all understanding and just live your life what’s behind is behind you can never no one can flower field by looking backwards because you just tear the crop so you just understand it it’s all over And it’s all come together and there is so much breath to breathe and not just up the world but just spiritually and what God would want me to do with your life man that’s a big that’s a tall order for a 15-year-old if I were trying to teach that to myself

KA I know

MA I’d have a hard time even understanding what I’m talking about

KA Since you were younger what would you tell your 10-year-old self

RA Yeah well my 10-year-old self it’s almost more like I wish my 10-year-old self could tell me now or could’ve told me when I was 25 but because my 10-year-old self was tenacious I just knew how to survive and I had learned how to just survive and so really what would I tell my 10-year-old self would be you’re going to get through this and to look further than just tomorrow because that’s really what I there’s something about my 10-year-old self that I’d like to tell myself now we just left for the day Live in the moment that you’re in because we so don’t do that we get caught up in what’s going to happen tomorrow what about next week I have a trial in October that’s all I can think about so I’m not enjoying the time that I have with my people my 10-year-old self lived right then and there and there was something good about that two days from now didn’t matter I just needed to get through the day so that I would I’d like to take for my 10-year-old self but to tell my 10-year-old self it’s more of plan for something bigger than what you’re in don’t let this take you and take up everything that you are and destroy you because that’s what it did to me for so long my ability to be comfortable with Uncle Charles, my ability to have relationships my inability to even want to have relationships because I didn’t trust them to not let what I was going through take that from me and see people is good because that really limited the planning I did in my life The you know while it may look to same as if I was aiming high the whole time to go to an Ivy League law school that really wasn’t it just sort of I just tried to do my best every day and I just sort of ended up there because I was doing what the best I could every day and that’s important too but it was sort of like what is that getting me where am I going what is my plan so it worked out the way that I was the way that maybe Helen helped make me get through every day maybe the best I could but that work but I want to tell my 10-year-old self to broaden those horizons and be intentional about what you’re doing instead of just letting the stream take you

KA So if there is a child in a situation like yours what do you want them to come away with from listening to this

RA That there are good people in the world that will help you that will help heal your emotional wounds that I’m sure that they’re experiencing and and that God still wants you to have a meaningful life and what you’re going through will be used or can be used by God to help other people in the similar situation and to help you be attuned to those people to help you see what’s going on with people sort of there’s an empathy that I can experience from what I’ve been through that I think other people can’t so it’s not good but it can be used for good and as long as you get through every day and a lot of people that are in the middle of this that’s where really all they’re worried about just get through every day and know there’s going to be another side of this you’ll get to the end of this time and there’s something good waiting for you that’s what I hope they take away how about you

MA I would just in that same way to tell them to be courageous let them know that God has a plan for them and that they are meaningful that they do have purpose they were created for a reason they are a child of God and that no matter what they might feel it’s not their fault they are in every way the kind of child that every every other child is it’s just a product of where they are in and the people that are at fault or not them but those that are over them and it to your point Richard you will get through it and it’s going to feel very very tough and it’s going to hurt a lot and you’re going to feel like the next day But just a courageous stay strong and understand also that no matter what’s going on in your life there’s probably someone that has it 10 times as bad as you do don’t feel sorry for yourself because God has created you for a mighty purpose and you’ll get through it and when you do when you do that life experience is going to prepare you for the next journey that you’re going to have it was all done for the night not saying God planned it that we went through what went through but he took every single bit of that and created and molded us into something that if most people that know us know where we have been to where we are now they say almost a miracle that you boys have survived with what you went through in so I was just telling you stay strong you believe in yourself and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise whether you’re short and somebody’s taller that doesn’t mean anything you know what I mean 

RA YEAH

MA It’s hard to register for a youngster because all you’re into where you are every moment was what’s going to happen today

RA And yeah you know what else count on your people be loyal to your people because they’re going to be loyal to you and I think that you know I was never in the military so I don’t have that experience but the brotherhood that Mike and me developed because of going through all that together would never wanna also would never it wouldn’t be the same and I am thankful for that so there is that too when you’re going through those things with others is those will be bonds that will carry you through life

The desire for sharing this story is to bring hope to people in the midst of similar trials. It brings to mind the verse:

Genesis 50:20

20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

(Qavah outro)