Archibald Brothers Part 1

“The House on Hula Street:

A Family’s Hidden Pain”

ARCHIBALD -EPISODE 1

The accounts shared on this Podcast, including this Episode, reflect the guests’ thoughtful recollections and opinions of experiences perceived and occurring over many years, including childhood memories, which may be fallible and limited by perspective and trauma. Persons may have different memories regarding certain events.         

MIKE

so I remember just walking up to that porch and there were man, you’d have to have an arc welder who takes 10 dimes and welds them together so it looks like a ruler that’s just all dimes that are just like glued together but they’re not glued together they’re actually welded together so you have these 10 dimes that are side-by-side making a you know I have 45 inch strand of dimes 

so I see that I see some of there and see what’s obviously stains and I knew those stains hadn’t been there or maybe this whole feeling that I’ve been having is the same this is just too weird I remember the screen door being able to turn it and open it and then trying to do the door handle to come on in and it was locked. So I closed it and so then I just went to around the garage that was facing that was attached to the house they turned it to your room and going through that gate and then following it back around to the back of the other garage and that’s when Mr. Kirkland was Mr. Kirkland who is our next-door neighbor, great man

I tried the back doors first and there was no getting in what was weird I remember that the drapes on the sliding glass door I could see in to that very informal living room you  and I had fled from, but I couldn’t see around I couldn’t see anything else and just enough daylight coming through the front window so you could see inside and that’s when I walked back around and Mister  Kirkland just told me, he asked me, “Mike, what are you doing here?” I said, “man I just got in, I’ve been on a trip with my best friend” and he said, “well you need to go back where you came from”, so now I just go back the way I came 

 true story of family trauma, faith, and the quiet pain of mental illness in the 1970s. 

KELLY

That 13 year old boy walked a mile back from where he came, not knowing whose blood spatter covered his porch or what those dimes meant. 

He was the middle of 3 boys who had experienced more in their short lives than most ever do, and now this. 

Their family was not always so troubled. It started out like a storybook, with high school classmates who took a liking to one another. In Detroit…..Texas.

Kenneth was 3rd of 5 siblings. He loved to read and would stay up reading until there was no fire left in the fireplace. He was a good student and even skipped a grade according to his sister. He was tall, thin, handsome and friendly. 

Joy was a lively child, who had 4 siblings. Her mother struggled with depression. Her oldest sister remembers that when their mom went to have her 5th baby, she warned her kids that she was likely to not make it through this delivery. And she didn’t. So, these siblings left without a mother, struggled. Their dad eventually remarried. Joy always said her stepmother was mean to her. Joy with her black hair and shining blue eyes, was a very smart young lady and could solve any problem. One day, she missed the bus, and she drove herself to school, although she was way too young to drive. This ability to keep moving forward would serve her well in life.

 HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS

they built a life together — one filled with promise, faith, and love that would be tested by loss.

Mike

Yeah, yeah, that’s where they met. Dad was FFA, she was whatever, and that’s the point where they fell in love and dad decided he was going to drop out of Detroit High School and go make a living, in order he could get his bride to be to come down and look at. A matter of fact, I think they got married in high school and Mom was still in high school when she got married Dad had already dropped out. Mom did her senior year and got her  diploma and then Dad was going to make a life for them where he could find work in Dallas.

 he went to South Oak Cliff and started working there. I believe his mom and dad our grandparents owned a big, no they didn’t own a bakery, they worked in the bakery at him, but our dad after that, started, got a normal job at East Texas Motor Freight. He worked on the docks, driving a forklift and he got promoted to be in, like the foreman, on the night shift to make sure all the trucks were getting loaded and all that stuff, and that was cool.

IT’S A BOY

Kelly

This couple settled down in Mesquite, Texas, a suburb of Dallas. First they lived in a house on a street called Desco, where they had their first born son, Ken. 

Mike

I think my other brother Ken was born on Desco, which was a a home in far South Mesquite. It was in what we call old Mesquite, if you were from there you were a Mesquite Skeeter, you went to Mesquite High School, That’s where this house is located; it was called the Desco home, because it was on Desco. I was born near, me and Ken both, but I don’t ever really remember anything about it I was too young. Hula was a home that we had in North Mesquite. Mom and Dad had moved all the other side of Mesquite: it was probably a little 1200 square-foot home. It was on a street called Hula, so we just call it the Hula house.

 HOW TO HANDLE 3 cHILDREN

Kelly

They had brought 2 other sons into their family, Mike and then Richard . The home on Hula was a new house that they filled with new things and they had a new car. Things were looking good for this family. 

KEN

when they brought Richard home from uh from the hospital as an infant

KA And so how old were you?

KHA Well that’s a good question I think I was about five 5 1/2

KA ok ok

KHA my memory at the time was is that I really do remember that I went into the room and thought that I could just get him to play with me in the crib and I explained that I don’t remember that with Mike it’s because you were too young but I knew we played together and I just thought when Richard came home that we would just play with him and that wasn’t gonna be the case

KELLY

With three boys running around, craziness filled the house. 

MIKE

MA Well, my first memory that I could really draw on would be my older brother Ken having a birthday party. I think he was in 1st to 2nd grade we were on Hula and I remember coming out and just completely disrupting it, just acting out completely. I was standing in front of the TV with whatever shows they wanted to watch. My mom it wasn’t the greatest disciplinarian in the world, was trying to call me down, but no one was having any of it, until the point where Ken basically just kind of threw me on the ground and sent me to my room. So that’s the very first kind of memory I have, a no my mom said the first thing I should remember she said that my first words were, “Ken, you be the Batman and I’ll be the Robin” and I’ve often look back at that when that show was involved in 1966, that it would’ve been at least a couple of years before I could even speak. So if that was 1968 and I was born in ‘63 I think that’s a little hard to fathom because I would’ve been five. Surely I would’ve spoken before, but it was always a good memory and I always try to tell that story to other people. I definitely remember early days on Hula I knew

KA So about how old were you when you had that birthday party? 

MA I think I was about five you were five I remember being so young that had a little service station that could add a little hot wheels and just literally being on my knees in my room playing with that over and over again. 

RICHARD

RA I don’t remember that birthday party, but my first memory, I was probably younger and I don’t know why than you and yours, but it’s of being in a bedroom with Mike and my mom playing with the fan making those noises, you know what you make with a fan. Clearly it’s daylight sun’s coming in, pretty sure we’re on Hula. I do not know where else it could be so that and then I confuse timing, which was first, with the time that I drank like paint thinner, guess I think thinking it was Koolaid because they were building a model and dipping the brush in there and it was like red or some thing so I

MA Thought it was cool

KA Who is they?

RA I think it was Ken.

MA Ken was doing, it mom sent him up to help him, Rich, that was pure gasoline, there’s no thinner. You drank and it wasn’t like unleaded it, was regular ethol that you drank.

KA Oh my goodness!

MA Do you remember what happen after you did it?

RA I really don’t.

MA You don’t?

RA I don’t I know I know that, there was a swift action taken by somebody somewhere and I don’t really know what happened.

MA Man, you got you got sicker than all get out, I mean you started coughing really bad, it took your breath away, Mom started freaking out thinking we need to call an ambulance, Dad was nowhere to be found so we took you to the commode or you just can I let it all go. I suggested that we were to give you a Winston and just light it up for you just to see what would happen, but Mom didn’t really want to do that.

RA Burn all that gasoline out of me.

MA It scared us when that happened,cause yeah it looked just like koolaid.

KEN

that’s my fault and less than 25 words will just state that I built model cars and model cars require glue the kind of glue that you had to get permission to buy

KA oh wow OK

KHA And it required Paint to do it right in the paint was enamel paint and the only thing that would allow you to clean your paint brush was paint thinner and so by the time I had blue red orange whatever paint and I’ve got the little Dixie cup and I’m mixing that in there it look like punch and he took a drink of it

KELLY

you remember of your family at that time like was it pretty normal was it

KHA uh yes 

KA what you know to be normal now

WHAT DOES A PTA MOM DO?

Joy was the kind of mother who joined the PTA, made dinners, and volunteered at school — the picture of 1960s motherhood. But behind that smile, she carried depression and exhaustion, a reflection of how little mental health awareness existed back then.

KEN

KHA I would’ve I would’ve suspected that it was normal I think you and I talked a little bit about the fact I can remember that my mom and dad seem to be normal school was normal my mom I can remember times when mom was very participatory in the PTA and in my class as a seven and an eight-year-old I think I also told you that I have a very good memory of them fighting at one point in time over it was really the only time I felt like there was something wrong and it was my mom got upset was crying because my dad had had been ugly to her and I her about buying some thing she should not have bought that was not necessary when she went to the grocery store I just remember thinking this is not right and everything obviously went back to normal if you will but I have a real good memory of that was just not good and I remember thinking I didn’t need to say that

KA UM yeah so you went to school and your mom participated which is so you remember your mom as like a normal mom making dinner

KHA Yes and as someone that other moms thought was somebody that was taking care of things that they looked up to

KA so what that was the first indication that something might be bad where there other signs as time went on

KHA You know I think we talked about that she just seem to be tired is the best phrase I could use I know I just vaguely remember that she was having lots of issues with her teeth so they were teeth that were being cold but that she just always seem to lay on the couch and I know that we have video of that but it’s not the video that I remember I know the couch I can see her laying there and even the night that we had our big night at the PTA she came home and she had to get on that couch in hindsight looking back it’s you can just see a depression that was there

KELLY

Life for this mom of 3 boys was hard. But she tried to raise them well. 

MIKE

yeah I started at that time kindergarten was not a requirement for the independent school district today but I do remember at five my mom driving me to like Ferguson and I 30 closer to downtown Dallas where there was a kindergarten there that she paid for so that was some of the early education I got but my first hula experience was I. N. Range elementary which was you could walk to it it was probably a mile away

RA So you went to Range when we were on Hula

MA I started first grade that was Miss Batts was my teacher

KA. What about you you didn’t go to the private school that he got to go to

RA. No that was news to me in fact that’s

MA I’ve been trying to keep that from you until your old age right now

MIKE

my two distinct memories on hula was on 1969 only know the date because only because history tells me when it occurred I remember when the astronauts were going to walk on the moon Neil Armstrong‘s first steps and all that I remember seeing that on a black-and-white TV being given to us live and I remember going out to my backyard next to our slide and swing set and looking up at to see if I could see the lunar capsule up there somehow make him out to see if they’re making a safe journey home

KA You know that’s 50 years ago right now

MA I know it’s 50 years that’s right so that was my first real clear memory and I think the other thing to Richards point that kind of led to the demise of mom and dad as we know them I can’t say I ever remember having a normal life on hula I think there’s a couple of times a surrounding the kitchen table and maybe mom making a meal that was the only civilized really that I can remember at mom and dad

WHAT ARE SIGNS OF DEPRESSION

KELLY

Joy struggled to keep up with the responsibilities of being a mother and wife. Over the years, her joy slowly faded.

She eventually became a shell of who she used to be, hiding the pain until it became too much to bear.

KEN

I have a vivid memory of people coming to get her and they came in the door and I don’t want to make this sound too dramatic because we’ve seen television shows and what not but they pretty much were orderlies I mean they say they weren’t necessarily dressed in white with black belts look like milkman but they were orderlies you could tail and they sat down with her on the couch and it didn’t take her long to pick up back up and I think I do also remember that at one point I remember going as we Discussed going to Presbyterian hospital where she was what I’ve been told and what I try to remember is that she spent several weeks there and I don’t really know to what avail my assumptions always been that money would’ve been an issue you in a private facility like that again don’t have any idea what kind of interaction her and my dad we’re having our dad was or what they were going through I just remember they came to get her to take her to Terrell and when she realized what was taking place she ran out into the front yard and they had to take her

somewhere in my little bit of memory about what was going on at the other hospital I knew she was going to the hospital and that didn’t really realize the significance of it but that she was going to have to leave in but I always thought it was probably going to be OK

KA OK but she came back from that

KHA Do you know my memory gets pretty vague there but but yes I remember that we visited her quite a lot in Terrell and when we were at Hula and that ultimately though yes she would be in and out and just always easy to say now because I can think of it as an adult there was always a struggle there it’s almost as if she knew she was going to end up going back

KA I don’t think you’ll remember her going in and out

MIKE

MA I do now that we mention it I don’t remember them coming her pick her up I just remember noticing that something wasn’t right based on some of the arguments I’m in there is a specific Christmas to her dad was riding a 10 speed bike through the hallway of hula and the cut is almost his toenail off or something and mom was always so worried about everything and it was just him doing that and you could always see that at some point mom began to almost clinch at everything but I remember the arguments

I do remember walking home from I N range with the cops being in the front driveway and then bringing my dad out with handcuffs behind him so my mom had called the police that dad was being abusive in the Mesquite police came and got him I don’t think he ever went to jail I think they drove them around and just talk to him and then brought him back but it wasn’t long after that when things started getting worse and we were I can’t say I really remember the other worst things that were going on but I can definitely remember that moment when you see your dad walking out in handcuffs

KA yeah was that like shocking

MA I was like do I turn around do I even go home I really didn’t know where to go from there as on the corners we could look down the street and see my house I did the only thing I need to do was to keep on coming

KA. Are you allowed or or did you have somebody with you

MA I had no friends with me and they had pretty much stopped at their houses they were a little bit closer to the school so I was making the rest of my journey and when I got from Bird straight to Hula Street and look to my left I saw them bringing dad out with handcuffs

KA Did he look at you he did not look at me they put them in the back of the car the cars left and then I made my way onto in the house

KA Was your mom there

MA she was

KA And was she disheveled or

MA Yes and she had told me that I didn’t see the abuse obviously but she had told me that that was what was going on that she had to call the police

KA wow that’s a lot for a little boy

MA Yeah but really when I look at the collateral damage from that I don’t remember a lot about oh this is going to lead to this or what’s going to happen next I was just kind a like there’s initial shock OK I remember dad returning there seem to be some civilized conversation as far as I could comprehend but that was the two biggest moments the moonlight and then seen your dad come out in handcuffs that was a hard thing to to digest

KELLY

The Hula days were coming to an end. Joy returned to the mental hospital again and again, and her family started tearing at the seams. It was traumatizing for her young children to visit her at the hospital, where adults were acting in strange ways.

MA And you know honestly it could’ve been because there was a lobby on the second floor where you could sit but then there were these two doors and I do recall that door being opened and just seeing bodies laying in the hallway

KHA It was like yeah I just imagine one flew over the cuckoo‘s nest I mean it

MA And it had its reputation of being you know the proverbial we’re gonna take you to Terrell so that everyone would tell everybody  back in the day

KELLY

Mental health treatment was very different in the early 1970’s and Joy was given the common treatments of the day. Her hospitalization fractured her marriage with Kenneth, and later they divorced and moved away from the house on Hula street.

RICHARD

I really have one memory and it is a picture memory is all it is of being in a car knowing that I was leaving Hula we were leaving Hula and we weren’t going back to Hula we are going to that apartment that we had looked at and that’s as best I could do at the time

KEN

I remember having a conversation with my dad that I just didn’t quite understand why we were moving to an apartment when we and I don’t and I knew nothing about mortgages or home-equity but it was just like in apartments were very popular back then you know but it was like this is our home and it just seem like it was obvious to me at 10 years old that some thing was about to transition because it just didn’t make sense as a 10-year-old that we were leaving this place where we had these memories in that house and I don’t even understand the concept of Owning or renting but something was different about the fact that we were moving where we didn’t know anywhere body and we were all just right there on top of it I want another

WHEN SHOULD YOU GO TO A MENTAL HEALTH HOSPITAL

at some point that’s whatever mom went back to Terrell and I can mainly recall this just because we’ve been told this over the years was that when she was in Terrell and I guess this was would’ve been you can probably look that up if you haven’t already sometime in 1971 he filed for divorce and had custody of us and I’m so at that point in time you and I have talked about the fact that looking back on it I am may be wrong but it just makes perfect sense that he knew where this was hitting on me that’s why we sold the house we had to have equity in that house we had to and whether it was money for this money for this or just the fact that they didn’t need to have a house whenever they got a divorce it was just clear that that was part of the overall I know what’s what I’m gonna have to do

KELLY

On the next episode of Qavah, we will begin following the next generation of this family, the three sons who watched their parents go separate ways. Mike, Richard, and Ken would go on to experience a childhood full of mysteries, like the blood that later stained their porch.